I’m an NLP trainer. What does that mean? NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and my best definition is it’s a study of applied psychological techniques to help people make a change of some kind.
One of the basic teachings of applied psychology and NLP is the concept of “Reframing.”
In simple terms, this is where you find another way to look at things so that an event or situation makes you feel better about it. This is THE CORE of what I do for people and how I hope to help you in these pages and posts.
Before I go into it more, I want to dispense with the complicated psycho babble terms now, and as much as possible, in my future writings and videos. In that spirit, I have re-named this concept “Story telling.” I think that makes much more sense.
Here’s the deal. We are all a bunch of story tellers and we are VERY good at it! We tell ourselves stories about everything that has happened to us.
Get this, all of our fears can be boiled down to how we decide to tell ourselves stories about what’s happening or happened to us.
For instance…there was a time when I was diagnosed as clinically depressed…actually twice in my lifetime. I was a mess…I was totally stressed out, hated my job, was sick all of the time, in a marriage that didn’t work, overdid alcohol, and felt totally stuck in it all.
I could tell a number of “stories” about that time in my life:
I could continue on in an objective way like I started above in just describing facts.
I could tell the story of how this was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I don’t ever want to have that happen again, it was so bad. And, I could go on and on about how bad it was in every detail.
I could (and do to this day) tell a story about how it was the greatest period in my life and how I am so grateful for having gone through and survived the experience because it is profoundly what has made me what I am today…happy, and sharing my knowledge with you and others…BECAUSE of it. If I didn’t go to the bottom of the barrell, as they say, I wouldn’t have looked to reinvent myself like I did.
Do you see how I can tell many different stories about the same event? It’s kind of like when a bunch of people witness a crime scene and then at the courtroom, when telling their story about what happened, each person remembers it a different way.
This is big if you allow it to really sink in. If you start practicing catching yourself in your stories and asking yourself if your story is useful for you or not, then you are the way to mental mastery. Sometimes this can be difficult and that’s where you ask a friend or family member to check you on your stories.
How are your stories working for you…or not…these days?